Thoughts on anything & everything

Dear Rahul,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits considering whatever happened in IPL. Err...Not that I know what happened, I read a tweet saying you threw your cap down. Really? Why would you do that?  I am that fan of your's who has not followed any of your cricket after 2003. In fact, I haven't followed ANY cricket after 2003. As crazy a cricket watcher I was in the 90s, I am diametrically opposite now. That is an odd claim for a fan, isn't it? But do keep reading and it will make sense. I promise.

Well, I am writing this to tell you about random stuff over the years that I have done to carve my niche as your number 1 fan. Let's start at the start. The year was 1996 and the month was August or September. Two awesome new batsmen had made the test debut for India at Lord's back in June. One of them made a century on debut and the other missed by 5 runs. How awesome! I was at our local raddi shop (second hand books) skimming through some books and magazines, hoping to pick up a 'Mills and Boon' novel to read. I happened to see this Sportstar issue with cover story on Rahul Dravid, the debutant who missed a century by 5 runs. That DID NOT attract my attention. The little text in the corner said, "Poster: Saurav Ganguly." I flipped through it to confirm that the poster was in there and decided to buy it. The rest as they say is history.

Oh wait! You don't know the history. I have to type it out. Duh! Okay. Here goes...I took that magazine home, took the poster out and adorned the sidewall of our showcase with it. Since I had paid about 5 Rs., it made sense to read some of it. That is when I read your first (at least after the debut) interview to Sportstar. You were asked, "Why did you walk at 95?" To that, you said, "It was a loud nick. I am sure even the crowd must have heard it." When asked if you would do the same thing if you could go back in time, you said you were not sure. That refreshing honesty, in the fact that you walked when you were at 95 and more importantly the part when you said you were not sure if you will do the same thing if given a chance again, struck a chord with me. I read that interview over and over again, clipped it and put it away. That day I became a Rahul Dravid fan. I still am. 

All my college friends (and those who just knew me), neighbors and relatives started knowing me as a 'Dravid fan.' People volunteered to offer me clippings about you they happened to come across. The funny part was, when people asked me why I was your fan, I had no straight answer to give. I liked to watch Saurav and Sachin's game more. As for looks, you were among many other good looking people in the team. Girls would swoon over Ajay Jadeja at the time. Years later, armed with more maturity and insight (so I'd think) I can answer that question now. It was your honesty and character that I was a fan of, the qualities you stood out for. I also loved the fact that you were not the show-off types. In whatever advertisements you did, you looked so awkward and a total misfit. I loved that too. I am glad you have maintained that character over the years. Even now, the way you have kept your post retirement life low key is coherent with that strong character. Best of people have a hard time letting go of the limelight and start clawing for attention on Twitter and Facebook. You have set yourself apart here too. Although it will be nice if you can be on Twitter, so people like me could reach you. 

Coming back to my fan-story, as time went by, looking for your interviews, pictures, articles about you etc. became my favorite hobby for the next 4 years, (rest of my college life). Raddi shop became my favorite hangout after class. Don't judge me there!  I bought new magazines too, when I had money on hand. Remember I was a college girl depending on pocket money from my dad? My collection of newspaper and magazine clippings grew bigger by the day. I had to find a way to organize it. So my scrapbook was born. I bought a blank paper, hard cover register (believe me, those were hard to find) and pasted all the clippings in a nice organized manner. No other creation has given me such immense satisfaction.

From some of these cuttings I found out your birthday, Jan 11, which was a few days away and you were in S. Africa. I desperately wanted to send you a letter/ card. I didn't know how. I tried calling Paras (Mhambrey). Right! I looked him up in the phone book. He was cordial, but could not help me with a postal address in SA where you could be reached. (Postal address! As jurassic as it sounds.) I flipped through a lot of magazines, found the team's schedule and finally settled on a plan. The team was going to be in Jo'burg for a test match around the time of your birthday and was scheduled to be there for one-dayers later (in case my letter missed you the first time around). I sent a card addressed to you ....'The wanderers, Jo'burg, SA'. That's it. It was awesome not knowing if you would ever get it. Weird, but true. Btw Johannesburg test on that tour was when you made your first century. Just saying, not taking credit.

That set off another ritual in addition to the collection. Letters. I wrote a letter a month to you. The funnest were of course the ones I sent by Airmail. I think it was something like 13 Rs. in stamps. I sent letters to stadium addresses (name + city + country) in England, Australia, Sri Lanka. I have always wondered if you got those letters I sent to stadiums. I pieced together your Bangalore address from articles in my collection and wrote to you there when you were not travelling. I got one reply from you to a letter I sent to your home address. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I was that day and for many more days to come. It is a treasure tucked away in my other treasure - the scrapbook.

People told me to try and meet you. I wanted to. But I was not sure how. Plus, I had a fear that you may be mean to me, dismiss me as a crazy fan not worthy of a few words. What if you were rude and condescending? That could bring my little world crumbling down. I know they were unfounded fears. But hey! I was a teenager. My standard reply was, "I will meet him when he retires. Then he will have some time for me." This was too much patience and maturity for my age. Right? Of course. Who has that kind of foresight at that age? It was just my avoidance strategy.

Cut to year 2012. I had been married for 10 years, settled in US, an angel of a daughter and a great husband. (He is very similar to you in a lot of ways. That topic for some other time.) We were planning a trip to India and were going to be in Bangalore for about 4 days (first time). While we were in the midst of this planning, the news of you announcing your retirement came. That little news brought back memories tucked away in the corner of my mind for a decade now. The timing of that news was my sign. The coincidence could not be anyting else, other than a DIVINE plan. (You see, the crazy, naive teen in me is still alive and kicking.) NOW was the time to act. My decision was made. I was going to try and meet you, show you my collection and take a few pictures with you. Alas! That was too much to ask I guess because it was not destined to be. Although, in that quest, I met someone awesome who I  think made you what you are. Your father!

I took my daughter with me and went to Indiranagar from Electronic city. Totally new to the city, I had no idea how far that was. Anyway, We got off on 12th main and walked, asking random people where Rahul Dravid lived. (I knew it was your parents' house, but that was the only gateway I could think of.) I felt like a teenager again talking to random people on the street. So exciting in a weird sort of way. One nice watchman showed me the way to your house. Your dad welcomed us, the strangers, to the house. He offered us nimbu pani and spent almost an hour talking to me. He was such a large hearted man. Really, he could have dismissed us right at the door saying 'Rahul does not live here.' He did not. May his soul rest in peace. He called you and asked if you could meet this 'lady from US.' You were on your way to the airport and could not meet me. That was a sad, sad moment for me, but I am forever thankful to your dad for trying to help. 

When we were leaving, I instinctively touched his feet. He touched my head and gave me a real ashirwad, "sukhi raha". I felt a connection with him for some reason and I think he did too. You are lucky to have him as your dad, Rahul. That year, I came back to US without meeting you. (Although I did talk to you on the phone.) The next year, 2013, I made a plan for Bangalore again. I did not know if I could meet you this time (negative thinker me), although I hoped to see your father once again. I read the news of his demise the day after I booked my tickets from Mumbai to Bangalore. After that, I did not know if it was appropriate to meet you. Then again, I felt like I knew him personally and I should go offer my condolences to you and your mom. I could not. She was not home. I did meet your brother there and offered my condolences.

So there! I have no plans of a trip to India this year. I don't know when (and if) I will meet you. I hope to get third time lucky. If you are reading this, please contact me. I am holding on to my collection and hoping to show it to you some day. Some day!

Warm regards,

Your no.1 fan