Thoughts on anything & everything

Subodh Bhave as Vikrant Saranjame in Tula Pahate Re (TPR) is the new heartthrob in town. Move over SRK, Ranbir. Most men have no idea what hit their households, wives, daughters, moms, from age 5 to 90. I am sure Subodh and the production team are as surprised as the other marathi men. Did you guys anticipate this kind of popularity for Vikrant Saranjame character? I doubt. So why not deep dive in the female mind and look for answers? Let's give it a try. Ladies! Here's a nice still from TPR for you. That's where we begin.

Isn't he so handsome? Of course he is. But I can hear reasonable people ask, So? Gurunath Subhedar is handsome too. In fact his character is younger. Rana-da some men would say is handsome (Newsflash : buffed muscularity is not something that attracts women, only men think it looks good). Come to think of it, This Vikrant Saranjame character is a middle-aged man with grey hair, past his prime. His eyes are tired, expression mellow. His smile has a touch of sadness to it. He looks like a broken man with no exhilaration for life in general. Our minds are automatically drawn to the mysterious reasons behind it. (Kudos to Subodh Bhave for portraying it to the T). But this is certainly not the type of character we expect to be popular among women, right?. Well, attraction is a complex phenomenon. 

The most fascinating concept in psychology is that of a subconscious mind. Many have heard it in passing, but most have no idea how powerful it is. Everything you do, say, feel is ALL controlled by your subconscious mind and you don't even know it. That's the key here. You have NO IDEA. It's like the movie Matrix. We see only what our subconscious mind has been programmed to make us see, programmed like a computer. How does it get programmed? By your childhood experiences, environment, parents, society, relations and much more. But the lead programmer is - EVOLUTION. For the purposes of this article, I will stick to subconscious explanation of what attracts women.

Our animal minds understand only two things, survival and reproduction. That's all animals live for, survive long enough to reproduce and their job here on earth is done. It's too simplistic and crude but that's all there is. Aren't humans at a higher spiritual level than animals? Yes. That's why we do survival and reproduction differently. But the limbic system in our brain still operates on an animal level. The survival part which includes food is fairly simple to understand. Just give us loads of sugar, salt, fat and we are all set. The second basic drive is a bit more complicated, works differently for men and women. Attraction is a cornerstone of it even though we don't explicitly think of it that way. What in the opposite sex attracts people, let's say women in the context of this article? Women might say sense of humor, kindness, family, values, looks, education yada yada yada. And they are all true factors, but most are at conscious level. Our mind is like an iceberg,much of what we feel/ think is HIDDEN from our 'radar' of awareness. It's where raw truth resides.

As in many other cases, evolution is the boss here. It has programmed women's mind to see one thing and only one thing - Resources. What does that mean? We have to think of caveman time to understand this and suspend our modern feminism driven sensitivities for a while. Read further only if you can do that. What would a woman need back then? Security! As in, a man who can scavange and hunt, so he can feed and protect her and the children. The bounty that he brings home, translated as money in modern times, and a physcial strength to protect are the basics for her. Power and confidence are also huge players that can effect how people perceive him. A powerful man (boss) who controls people is extremely attractive to women. I know this confirms the age-old theory that women are after money. It can be mighty offensive to both men and women. For men, it's unthinkable that a woman would love them for their money. But don't confuse love with attraction. An attraction may or may not evolve into love. But it's the necessary first step.

So in short money, power, confidence, and overall an alpha male character is very attractive to women. A rich man with average looks is more attractive to women than a poor man with better looks. Also note that rich is a relative term depending on the girl's families' economic status. A girl who is born in a rich family and believes she has all the money/ resources she will ever need might be more inclined towards a man who is resourceful in other ways, like physically well-built, mechanically inclined man. Let me give you couple examples. We hear college boys say how girls swarm around that guy with a bike and ignore the obviously nicer boys who are good at academics. It comes down to resources. If you ask the girl, she will never say that she likes a certain guy because he has a bike - (translating to resources in evolutionary terms.) She might have other explanations like he is dashing, or handsome or whatever. And guess what? She is telling the truth. She doesn't know what attracted her to that guy. The workings of subconscious minds are HIDDEN from our awareness. This is true for everything we do.

Also, resourcefulness does not necessarily mean money-in-bank right now. Ambitious, driven, intelligent men are attractive too. This woman is more evolved than the one who likes the guy on a bike. Her subconscious can see the potential in this guy to be resourceful one day and she is ready to wait. If you ask her what she likes about this guy she will say 'he is intelligent. We have great conversations. He treats me respectfully.' The real subconscious reason is "He is intelligent which means that one day he will earn good money and be a good provider." Now if you say to that girl that you are only after his potential for earning money, She will be horrified. I don't recommend that. She is not lying. No. Her conscious mind has no idea of this subconscious programming. 

Women are accused of being gold-diggers and there is enough evidence if we look around. In fact, in arranged marriages it's not even hidden. The girl's side will look for the boy's salary, if he owns property etc. We don't even blink an eye in response to these demands. My daughter says, "Aai, why is it socially acceptable to be a gold-digger in India?" Well, different societal norms. On the other hand, some would say it's not like 100 years ago, women earn money now. They are not dependant on the man to be the provider. True. But that is a separate issue. Whether a woman earns or not, the basic rules of attraction still apply. Even a working woman wants a man to earn more than her, be taller than her and of course stronger than her. Did you ever hear anyone say 'amchya mulila bharpoor pagaar ahe, mulga kami kamvat asla tari chalel'? I have not.

Coming back to TPR, Vikrant Saranjame fits so many of these things that attract women. I don't think they wrote the character with this in mind, but that's just how it came about. He is rich, powerful and handsome. Now I have seen Subodh Bhave in serials and movies since my college days. he has always been the same level of handsome and I was not really a fan. Why now? I asked myself and that question sent me down the rabbit hole of psychology. Another very important ingredient is the MYSTERY about this character. Mysterious people are extremely attractive to both genders. I predict that when the mystery in that room and his past is revealed, his popularity will drop a little. Also the occasional bursts of anger they show give a perception of alpha male. Contrary to logical thinking, anger at the right time and right place makes a man's personality stand out. It is another indicator of power. So the mystery in his character is like a cherry on top, the main ingredients being money and power beyond imagination of the average woman. They got the recipe perfect while probably not intending to. It just feeds into women's Cinderella fantasy.

So in summary,  women are crazy for Vikrant Saranjame becuase he is rich (very important), handsome (as in alpha male - broad shoulders, stubble, square jaw), successful (again wealthy, being boss, big house), mystery in his life, power that comes with money and the way he treats women - Isha and the other women around him. The main takeaway of this article is not that all women are evil and they only care for money. I am just trying to bottle this phenomenon of Vikrant Saranjame. If, after reading this, you conclude that all women are gold-diggers, wait till I write about men's subconscious mind - dhamki to any men readers

Links to source articles - from a psychology website called www.2knowmyself.com

Link 1- what attracts women

Link 2 - Being mysterious

Link 3- Money

Link 4- Looks

Link 5 - Men on motorbikes

Link 6 - Subconscious mind